recharge with friendship

Hey friends! Talk about a cheesy blog post title, right?

Well, I missed my last Monday's blog because I have just had back to back friendship times y'all, and it has been GRAND.

It can be so easy, especially with technology, to drift away and for friendships to sort of weaken and disintegrate over time. That's why I'm a huge believer in going out and seeing my friends. Sure, it takes a little more effort. Often times you have to spend a little bit of money. But, truthfully, I think the relationships we build with the people around us have such an affect on our lives that we need to put as much into them as we want to get out.

So! To recap:

About two weeks ago my darling friend Nellsyn came to sunny Los Angeles from dreary Chicago, and I got to eat dinner with her and we were surprised with $2.50 margaritas! That's right, folks, if you come and visit me I will take you on a Monday to a Mexican food restaurant within WALKING distance and we will drink up and celebrate what it means to be broke and have access to cheap margaritas! I am living the life here.

The next week my lovely Aunt Di flew to Southern California specifically to see me and to eat Rosa's in California! (She might say the actual point of the trip was to see her son and daughter-in-law, but we all know that was just a small benefit to the Rosa's and the me)



 

There is one Rosa's in all of California, it's in Temecula and if anyone ever wants to go I will gladly drive the hour and half to get me some of that queso.

I also want to talk about how I texted my aunt to ask for this Rosa's picture and she also included this little gem:

because she thought it was funny. And come on, that shiz is hilarious.

Forever grateful this pretty lady let me live with her for five months last year.

A few days after my drive to Temecula and my Rosa's binge, my sweet friend Meaghan came to visit! She just finished all the really strenuous and not-at-all fun sounding requirements to become an American Airlines flight attendant, and I'm so glad I got to see her! We walked all around the area I live on Monday (and I got a gloriously embarrassing sunburn people won't stop commenting on), Tuesday we went to the beach and she came to work with me, and Wednesday we went to Universal Studios! It was great!
I had to include the last picture because I just have no idea what is going on with my face. It seemed worth sharing, though.

My last couple of weeks have been great! I loved getting to see people and exploring a bit more! Also, great news, I'm going home in a little over two weeks! It's just for a little visit, but I'm extremely excited. I miss my parents and my dogs and Texas and queso, not necessarily in that order.

Spend time with your friends! Go make new ones! Experience the world around you. It's good for you. I promise.

what is the color of your dreams?

What do you love to do? this may seem like an odd question, but I think it's important. What do you find yourself doing when you are beholden to no one, when there is no call on your time or attention and you can focus solely on you and what you want to do?

I'm a big believer in the idea that people should do what they love. Maybe it's just because I've been extremely lucky in the examples around me, but I do think it's sad that the majority of the people I see don't appear to love what they are doing.

My dad loves to build. He loves to fashion things with his hands. If he's not at work or hanging out with my mom, he's building. Whether remodeling their house or building some random thing he got the idea for the day before, you can guarantee there's something going on at my dad's shop. And he's good at it. More than good, he's amazing. At least once a month some friend is calling him asking him for help with something. Anytime we visit family someone's been working on a project they want my dad to come look at. He does what he loves.

My mom loves to take care of people. If you let her, she will doing anything for you. And just like my dad, this is something she's so good at. She's an amazing cook, her house is always put together and decorated for every season. People know they can depend on her if they need something. All throughout school my mom was there, taking care of me and my brother and other students. She helped the teachers and ran the PTA and was room mom and let us have sleepovers and has worked with Meals on Wheels for as long as I can remember. She does what she loves.

I have so many more examples of family members and friends who find ways to implement the things they love in their lives. So maybe I'm wrong, and people are doing what they love to do. Sometimes, though, it seems like people are so focused on getting through the next month with money in the bank or worrying about whether their next paycheck will cover their rent that the things they love are so far on the back burner they hardly exist. I don't think life should be that way.

Obviously, I mean I'm in Los Angeles pursuing what I love with all I've got. Many, I know, find this odd. Don't I know how difficult this is? How many sleepless nights, how many full and tiring days I'm signing up for? But, you see, it's important to me to do this. I can't fathom a life where I find some job I may be good at just to pay the bills. I don't want that. I don't think anyone should have to do that.

Maybe it's naiveté. And that's fine. I know that my dad's job isn't what he loves, and that if he had gone through life doing only what he loved my life would look very different. I know that it isn't realistic for everyone to do what I've done, in fact it's hardly realistic for me. If you find yourself feeling lost or heavily burdened, I encourage you to think about what you love. Think about the quiet times in your life and what you did with them. Do those things again. Whether you can pursue that full time or it's something you're able to do once a month, I think it is so important that our lives are not constantly focused on getting to the next point. We must do what we love. And if you're like me, and what you love is hard and people don't understand, that's okay. Do it anyway. For as long as it keeps you happy and you stay sane. Maybe one day it won't be what you love anymore, and that's okay. Do it while it is.

what is the color of your dreams?

http://http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/2b/0d/c9/2b0dc9ef77c26a1657394c60b76e9446.jpg?crlt.pid=camp.FyKnpTVgahID

how to find fulfillment in each day

I realize the title of the post might be a little misleading, like I'm going to be giving you the answer. But really all I'm doing is asking the question: how do you find fulfillment in each day?

This is definitely something I struggle with. I'm a very future minded person. I have lots of goals and ideals I'm always trying to reach. While this enables me to have forward motion, it does mean that I tend to view the every day as something just to get through. For the longest time, I've felt as if I'm waiting for my life to begin. What I'm doing now, this isn't life. This is life's preparation. Once I accomplish this, well, then my life will have begun.

I was always very good at school. I didn't have to try very hard, so I filled up my days with other things. I had rehearsals and tournaments and class meetings. I practiced instruments and did homework and read and wrote. I filled up my days so they would go faster so I could get on to what was next. No matter what I was doing at the moment, what was coming next was going to be even better. In college I started working on top of all the other things, and with a life with no school looming around the corner, I came to accept that once I graduated it would happen. Life would start. It was taking longer than I had originally accounted for, but that would be it.

Obviously these are not thoughts I was completely aware of. I didn't sit around sadly, dreaming about what it would be like. I just never invested much in the day to day, because I was more focused on getting to what was really important. The future. As I've matured (and my life has progressed), I've become more aware of this facet of my personality. I'm certainly not naive enough to think I'm the only one who deals with things this way, which is one reason I chose to write about it today. It's become very important to me to find the importance of each day. To find something enjoyable or fun or what-have-you. To find fulfillment. All this waiting around I've been doing, it's not good for me. I don't think it's good for anyone. Each day is a gift and we are promised not even that. The people around us are a delight. And our futures, well of course those are important. But there's no way to get to the future but through the days that lead to them. Those are important too.

So, I'm going to ask the question again, only this time with slightly different inflection. How do you find fulfillment in each day? Like I said, this is something I struggle with. If anyone out there has any wisdom to share, I welcome it.

i may have spoken too soon...

So I pretty much lead off with my last post about how things felt quiet, not that I was bored but more just that I felt sort of stagnant.

Well, believe me, things are nowhere near stagnant now. I did get another job, so hooray for that! I'm working at this gorgeous theatre in Beverly Hills, which is bizarre in and of itself. There are certain small things that sort of jar me into remembering that I do actually live in Los Angeles now, and working in Beverly Hills is one of them.

It must be the Texas gal in me, but I do not understand the point of having those beautiful huge mansions right on the edge of the road. I mean, what's the point?

Anyway, I took a picture of myself at my first day at the new job, because that seems to be the sort of thing people my age do.

Yesterday morning I was stuck in my apartment complex for a little while because the garage door was broken.

I went to a Mexican food restaurant strictly because I saw they had queso on their menu, and sadly, it wasn't really queso. More like fondue.

And in between all these exciting happenings, I've been auditioning! Which is so much more time consuming than I realized. So mostly I'm just running here and there and everywhere and crying myself to sleep as I watch the gas prices get higher and higher.

so, it's been a little while...

Sorry about that! I would love to say that it's because I'm just so interesting and busy that I simply didn't have a spare moment to sit down and write a blog post, but that would by lying.

Truthfully, things have felt pretty quiet around here. In a way it's a good thing because it indicates that I'm really starting to feel comfortable with my life here. That's not to say I haven't been doing things, because I have! I finally got some new headshots that I'm so very, very happy with, and that enabled me to really get set up on Actors Access! Now this question has been asked to me a couple of times, so I thought it might help to give a teensy bit of extra information.


In some way or another, people have wondered how exactly one embarks on this whole acting thing. Everyone's heard of an agent, so the first question I'm often asked is whether or not I have an agent. It's true, agents are extremely important because they have access (hopefully) to auditions that you, the actor, wouldn't. However, in my experience you want to attract a really great agent who's going to be able to get you in places but isn't so huge that you would get lost in space and forgotten about. Because my resume isn't super impressive by LA standards (90% theatre, not much film/television) and I don't have a professional reel I'm not necessarily at my best place to get an agent that I really think would work. So, what to do in the meantime?

Well, there are websites like Actors Access which enable the actors to submit themselves for auditions! Granted, the auditions are mostly student and short films, but at this point what I (and actors like me) need to do is acquire enough material to balance my resume out more in the favor of film/television and to create an impressive reel. That's where I am right now. Since I signed up for AA (I realize how that looks, but I'm tired of typing it out) less than two weeks ago I've had seven auditions offered to me (of those there is only one I won't be attending and three that have yet to happen) and gotten one callback. I have no idea what this looks like compared to the experience others might be having, but I know I'm pleased! What this says to me is my headshots are working to get my foot in the door, which is their inherent purpose! Soon I should have a little reel up on my profile that will hopefully help shoot me up the lists and get me even more auditions. This is the place I am right now in my career, just moving forward steadily to help polish and create an impressive (hopefully) and marketable brand.

I also made a website! I'm super proud of it, but it's also the first time I've ever done anything like that before so I welcome any (constructive) criticism or thoughts anyone has! I'll post the link to it after this post. The nice thing about my website is that I will work very hard to keep it constantly updated with what's going on with me professionally, so if you're interested in that it's a good way to keep up with me. There's also a direct link to my blog from the website, so you can start there and move straight here!

In other news, I have an interview tomorrow to potentially add another job a few nights a week. Although I do want to be as available as possible for auditions/workshops/classes/what-have-you, I also need the peace of mind afforded by being able to afford LA a little bit more than I can right now.

I'm going to focus on updating this blog more regularly as well. I love reading blogs and check my favorites every day for new posts and it's always disappointing when they disappear for a while. Not to say that I think this blog fills that spot for anyone, but I still want to be more accountable with it. At the very least, it allows me to hash through exactly what's going on with me and see how far I've come!

the website address is fairly simple:

www.shelbyannelee.com

don't forget the 'e' on the anne!

surviving versus thriving

It's funny. I think I was expecting myself to be more disappointed in Los Angeles than I am. Like I was prepping myself to hate it, and in this way giving myself a little protective coat so that if I did dislike it, well. I was ready. I knew it would be like that. No big surprise. I can always move to Europe.

Here's the thing, though. I don't hate it. I actually really like it. Sure, there's way too many people. I don't know that I ever really comprehended there could be this many people existing around me before. And yes, they drive like maniacs. They give me funny looks when I say "yes ma'am" and "no sir". A "y'all" slipped out the other day and the customer I was speaking to looked at me like I'd lost my mind. But still, I see so much potential here.

At this moment though, it's all potential. I feel stuck. I'm still dealing with things that happened because of the wreck, and it definitely pushed me back a good month from the track I was on. It's also just so. dang. EXPENSIVE here. I mean, I knew that. Everyone knows that. Los Angeles ain't cheap. There is a difference between knowing and experiencing. There's also a difference between surviving and thriving. Right now, I'm surviving. And even that is iffy. Here's the thing, I don't want to survive here. If I'm just going to live somewhere to work and pay off my loans and figure out the next step in my life, it sure as heck isn't going to be Los Angeles. It wouldn't be California. It likely wouldn't even be the US.

That's not why I'm here. I'm here to act. To audition. To fully pursue this desire I have. To thrive. It's sad, but right now all I can do is hold on and hope I get to that point soon. Stresses happen for everyone, and sometimes you just have to buckle down and survive the storm.